ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Isn't it a fact that you make people's eyelashes white?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That was Jack Frost”
THE COLLECTION
37 EXHIBITS FILED
All exchanges.
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Were you or were you not saved from the Powhatan warriors by Pocahontas?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That was John Smith”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Isn't it a fact that you were sitting on the doorstep of Fani Willis's house on October 31, 2023??”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That was Jack-O-Lantern.”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Were you or were you not the most notorious murderer in 19th century London?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“Sir, that was Jack the Ripper.”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Isn't it true that you are the sum total of my accomplishments as a US Senator?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“Sir, that is Jack Shit”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Did you or did you not sell hamburgers from a giant smiling head?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“Sir, that was Jack in the Box.”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Did you or did you not say that you will make Pete Hegseth throw up, give him a stinking headache and take away his capacity to walk?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That was Jack Daniels.”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Did you or did you not get into one little fight and your mother got scared, so she sent you to live with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That was Will Smith.”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Do you believe that a 7 nation army couldn’t hold you back?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That is Jack White”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Why are you and your wife harboring Chinese spies?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“We aren't.”
Schmitt: “Let’s jog your memory, scumbag.”
Text message: “Do you mind picking up the chinese on your way home?”
Jack Smith: “That was Chinese food.”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“How much involvement did you have in planning 9-11?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“None.”
Schmitt: “Let’s jog your memory, scumbag.”
Text message: “I can’t wait to see the jets kill the patriots”
Jack Smith: “Yes, that was about a football game the next Sunday…”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Did you or did you not fall in love with a Native American woman who could talk to willow trees and paint with all the colors of the wind?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That was John Smith.”
✳
Real people. Made-up testimony.
Every exchange links back to its source. Some are excerpted for brevity.