ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Did you or did you not secretly enter the Lucha Libre wrestling ring as Nacho?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“Sir, I believe that was Jack Black.”
THE COLLECTION
37 EXHIBITS FILED
All exchanges.
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“What if I told you I have photos of you as the pirate captain of the Black Pearl?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“Sir I believe that was Jack Sparrow”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Did you or did you not fall in love with a Native American woman who could talk to willow trees and paint with all the colors of the wind?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That was John Smith.”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Did you, or did you not, try to kill Neo in The Matrix?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“I think you have me confused with Agent Smith.”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“You were aided by the 'Knights Templar,' correct? … Let me jog your memory… this familiar, scumbag?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That was a movie poster for Nick Cage's 'National Treasure.'”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Have you or have you not, since leaving a career in the military police, led the life of a modern-day knight errant, using your imposing size and intellect to fight crime and corruption, no matter where the facts lead you?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“That was Jack Reacher.”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“Did you, or did you not, in fact, accuse a one-armed man of killing your wife?”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“Sir, that was Dr. Jack Kimball...”
ES SEN. SCHMITT
“I have it on good authority that you KIDNAPPED SANTA CLAUS!!!”
JS JACK SMITH Read his response +
“Uhh… that was Jack Skellington.”
✳
Real people. Made-up testimony.
Every exchange links back to its source. Some are excerpted for brevity.